Chapter
6: THE NATIONAL SPORTS
Notwithstanding
the involvement of large numbers of players in netball, touch (football) and
the achievement of Australians in the international arena of women's hockey,
basketball, swimming, sailing, rowing, cycling, surfing, and tennis – to name
a few – it is the national game of cricket and the various football codes
that create the most public attention. This chapter recognises that situation.
We
are glad to see that this game is every day becoming more popular and more
fashionable in this colony, for we never like to see ancient sports
decline. We never like to feel that the games of other days are entirely unknown
by the present generation.
- The New
South Wales Sporting Magazine (1848) in a reference to cricket.
What a
pity the Englishmen are not with us this season. Cricket has done much, very
much, for Federation, to celebrate the radiant birth of Australia as a nation.
- Tom Horan,
former Australian cricket captain and journalist expressing his disappointment
that an Ashes Test was not part of Federation celebrations in Sydney in 1901.
An anti-imperial
nationalism might have disposed Australians not to play cricket at all. So intense
a devotion to the most English eyesight's not important, it's reaction.
-
Greg Chappell on facing fast bowling (1980s).
The
traditional dress of the Australian cricketer is the baggy green cap on
the head and the chip on the shoulder. Both are ritualistically assumed.
- Simon
Barnes in The Times (London), in May 1985.
In Affectionate
Remembrance of English Cricket,
Which died
at The Oval on 29 August 1882.
Deeply
lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances. R.I.P.
NB: The
body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia.
- A ‘mock-serious'
obituary written by Reginald Brooks which appeared in the London Sporting
Times . The concept of the Ashes emerged out of a memorable Australian
victory by just 7 runs at The Oval on 28 and 29 August 1882-Australia's first
Test victory on English soil.
Eleven
stalwart Australian natives will be seen at Sheffield and Manchester and Birmingham
and other places, in the cricket field, and people will say that the country
that can produce such fine men and good cricketers cannot be a bad one by any
means.
- The
Australasian, describing a wholly native born and bred Australian XI when
they left to tour England (1877). The ‘natives' referred to were not Aboriginal
Australians.
He was
more that a great cricketer and a great sportsman, he was a dominant Australian
personality in a way that I don't think any other person has been in the last
100 years.
- Prime Minister
John Howard after the death of Sir Donald Bradman (2002).
Now, McDougall
was a Scotchman, and a canny one at that,
So he started
in to practise with a paling for a bat.
He got
Mrs. Mac to bowl to him, but she couldn't run at all,
So he trained
his sheep-dog, Pincher, how to scout and fetch the ball.
- Excerpt
from well-known poem, How McDougall Topped the Score, by Thomas E.
Spencer.
I'm completely
stuck for words. It was easily the most touching tribute ever paid to a sporting
team anywhere in the world. I can't tell you how overwhelmed the boys and I
were. I can tell you tears came easily to me in that extraordinary procession—and
I couldn't be bothered wiping them away—and I wasn't the only one. It was incredible.
- West Indies
captain, Frank Worrell in the Herald (Melbourne) made his comments
about the moving reception given to his team at the end of the 1960-61. This
close and exciting test series featured a tied test in the First Test at Brisbane.
Fingers
wrapped round the cherry, seagulls down at long-on, bright sunlight reflecting
off the square leg umpire's bum …
- Cricket
commentator Max Walker in a ‘typical' observation. Brian Matthews in Oval
Dreams (1991).
No member
worth his badge would be seen without a tie and no bloke on The Hill would be
seen with one. So there at important games, divided yet united by the players
in between, sat two elements of the Australian class system—slightly suspicious
of each other but, I suspect, with a modicum of respect for each other as well.
- ‘Death of
a Friend,' by Neil Marks in Tales for All Seasons (1997) in commenting
on cricket crowds at the Sydney Cricket Ground.
Congratulations,
Hammy, that's the first ball you're touched all day.
- Renowned
Sydney Cricket Ground barracker ‘Yabba' as Hammy Love, the NSW wicket-keeper,
adjusted his protector in the Shield game against Queensland. The Queensland
players had scored off most deliveries. Comments by Yabba included the now well-known,
“Have a go ya mug!” and “Git a bag” (1930s).
I feel
sorry for the poor coots that have to bowl at me today.
- Reported
comment by Charlie Macartney on the morning of a test match at Lords in 1926.
He scored 133 runs.
Larwood's
second ball after ‘drinks' cracked Oldfield on the forehead. He fell like a
pitched ox after staggering a few yards. The fieldsmen flew from all directions
to his assistance, and Allen dashed from the field to return a few seconds later
with water and a towel. There was a nasty contusion on the head, and Woodfull
went out to him and Oldfield left the field.
- The
Sydney Sun, February 1933 reporting on an incident during the third test
of the ‘bodyline' series. The crowd reacted vigorously and the incident lead
to strained relations between England and Australia.
Now I don't
know where this is going to take you, my son, but wherever it may be, do me
one favour: make the game the better for being in it by your presence.
- Sound advice
given to cricketer and renowned commentator, Alan McGilvray, by his father after
he was selected to play Sheffield Shield cricket for New South Wales in 1933.
I play
in the backyard with my brother, the ground is very lumpy and it is terribly
hard to hit fours. I bat with a broken fork handle which is only one and a half
inches wide. In case you are interested, my last few scores have been 166 not
out, 117 not out, 123 not out, 216 not out, 47 and 18 not out. They were consecutive
innings. My highest score is 507 not out. That took me two afternoons. Can you
give me some tips because I have two or three weaknesses?
- A letter
by a young boy apparently written to Don Bradman. In recalling the letter Bradman
indicated with some humour, “I am sure you'll agree than when we've ironed out
his weaknesses we've got another champion in the making.”
Australia
has but four millions, of people scattered through a primeval land, virtually
no leisured class, and no professional cricketers. But it has an almost unmatched
climate, which enables its men to devote almost as many months to practice as
there are weeks available in England. This and the native stamina of this race
explain why it is that our Elevens, going forth to battle on even terms against
the flower of England, have so often caused the lion to lower his crest.
- Anonymous,
The Age (Melbourne), 1895.
Club cricket
is a reflection of life. Just because you're the Australian captain you can't
sit on your arse in the dressing room and do nothing. On a Saturday afternoon,
if it starts to rain, he helps the rest of the mob put on the canvas. Your team
mates won't let you get away with it anyway.
- Rod Marsh,
former Australian cricketer (2000).
Mackay,
seeing the ball cannot possibly hit the wicket, pulls the bat away with his
left hand at the last second and the ball crunches into his exposed right side.
As he doubled up, the crowd rose. For, like Horatius, such a gallant feat of
arms had not been seen before. The match was saved. The series saved. Australia
saved.
- Hugh Lunn,
Queenslanders (1984), describing the last ball of the fourth test
against the West Indies in 1961. Mackay and Lindsay Kline achieved an improbable
draw after a last wicket stand lasting 2 hours.
Mr Gleeson,
I must apologise for taking so long over that decision. But there is a very
strong wind blowing in the wrong direction and it took such a long time for
the nick to carry to my end.
- Reported
comment by an Indian cricket umpire during the 1969 tour of India . The umpire
had taken a long time to make a decision after the batsman had got an edge for
the wicketkeeper to take a catch off Australian unorthodox spinner Johnny Gleeson.
Mentioned by Ian Chappell, Cricket in Our Blood (1976).
Before
an Australian sportsman can be considered for inclusion in a national squad,
he must overcome a crocodile, shark and kangaroo in unarmed combat, survive
attacks by poisonous jellyfish and snakes and then jog non-stop from Sydney
to Perth. Our people just do not take their preparation seriously enough.
- A.J. Colbert
in a Wolverhampton newspaper after Australia had retained the Ashes Cricket
Trophy for the seventh time (2001).
Ashes to
Ashes,
Dust to
dust,
If Lillee
don't get'ya,
Thommo
must.
- A ‘poem'
about Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson who were Australia's lethal fast bowlers
in the 1974-75 Test cricket series against England. When asked about his bowling
technique Jeff Thomson said, “I just shuffle in and go whang!”
The sheer
effrontery of his batting contrasted strangely with the quiet modesty, almost
amounting to shyness, which even in his greatest triumphs was characteristic
of his demeanour.
- Dr Eric
Barbour, writer, 1932 in reference to cricketer Victor Trumper.
Once he
left the Sydney Cricket Ground, [Yabba] was lost in oblivion, but when he appeared
at his ‘stand' in the middle of the Hill and among his thousands of subjects,
he was King of all he surveyed.
- ‘Letter
to the Editor' to the Sydney Morning Herald recounting Stephen Harold
Gascoigne ‘Yabba' the famous barracker at the Sydney Cricket Ground.
To
Harold. For The Ashes. From a Grateful Skipper.
- The inscription
on a silver ashtray presented to fast bowler Harold Larwood by England captain
Douglas Jardine. Jardine was the instigator of the infamous ‘Bodyline Series'
of cricket (1932-33) which strained relations between Australian and England.
Jardine had said, “I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to win the cricket.”
Harold Larwood in bowling at the batsmen's bodies with a ring of fielders on
the leg side was the major ‘weapon' in ensuring the success of ‘bodyline.'
"What's
that man doing behind me? Put him where he'll be of some use."
-John Blackham,
Australian wicket-keeper, on the fielding position of backstop which he dispensed
with in a display of confidence in his own abilities to stop the ball (1870).
Victor
Trumper is, perhaps the most difficult batsman in the world to reduce to words.
He has no style and yet he is all style. He has no fixed canonical method of
play, he defies all the orthodox rules, yet every stroke he plays satisfies
the ultimate criterion of style – minimum of effort, maximum of effect.
- Charles
Fry, England cricket captain in reference to the great Australian cricketer.
I feel
as if it's a part of me – it's been through all the trials and tribulations
I've experienced. The Baggy has seen the highs and lows and I feel as if it's
an extension of me. Almost, perhaps, it's my security blanket – it makes me
feel proud, strong, committed and linked to a special group of people. It gives
me power and the team aura, it's something people recognise and respect, and,
most importantly, it has never been commercialised in any way, nor does it have
sponsor logos on it.
- Australian
cricket captain Steve Waugh expressing his feelings about wearing the ‘baggy
green' hat of Australia (2002). He has also said, “There's something special
about putting that cap on – for me anyway.”
As it left
my hand, I thought, ‘That looks pretty good, it's moving away from him just
the way I want.
- Australian
Women's cricketer Zoe Goss, describing the ball that dismissed (caught behind
by Steve Rixon) champion West Indian cricketer Brian Lara in a televised game
at the SCG for the Bradman Foundation against a World XI (1994).
The batsmen
has got to do a poo!
- Urgent request
from four year old Matt to his Dad during a backyard game of cricket. It highlights
the problems of being caught ‘short' during a 'long' game of cricket.
Got him!
-A screech
by television cricket commentator, Bill Lawry when a wicket falls. Lawry was
astute enough to observe after one ball, “That sounds like a noise.” His, “It's
all happening!” is perhaps his best-known comment.
I lifted
my bat to warn him that if he hit me I would hit him back.
- Javed Miandad.
The Pakistani batsman on his infamous ‘kicking' confrontation with Australian
pace bowler Dennis Lillee in 1981. Dennis Lillee in an apology for the incident
said, “It set a bad example to children and for this, in particular, I am truly
sorry” and “The incident is now best forgotten and let's hope that nothing like
that ever happens again in any form of cricket.”
Can't bowl,
can't throw!
- Comment
by Joe the camera man on a wayward return by Scott Muller in a test match against
Pakistan (1999). A minor controversy erupted as many believed (and still do)
that Shane Warne had made the comment.
People
who have written us off are going to look silly.
- A prophetic
Steve Waugh after a loss to Pakistan left his side requiring seven successive
'wins' to take the World Cup Cricket Cup in 1999. They won six matches and had
a tie in a semi-final after this comment.
Mate, anyone
who tells you they like fast bowling is a liar.
- Cricketer
David Boon (1996).
It was
wrong. I regret it. I wouldn't do it again. I was shattered at the outrage
and screaming chaos that follows. I'm stuck with it … but it wasn't illegal.
- Greg Chappell
in reflecting on the infamous underarm bowling incident against New Zealand
in 1981. Subsequently, the rules of the competition were changed to proscribe
underarm bowling.
You're
here to f*****g bowl. Why don't you f*****g get on with it?
- Steve Waugh
to Curtly Ambrose in Trinidad (1995).
The top
of my mouth got sunburned while I watched the ball go over.
- Queensland
cricketer, Bill Tallon, after being hit for a six.
Your
length is lousy, but you bowl a good width.
- A comment
to about a wayward bowler by Stephen Gascoigne (Yabba) who was a celebrated
barracker at the SCG during the 1920s and 1930s. Other comments about players
included: "You'll have to get the fire brigade to get him out," and
"Gee, I wish you were a statue and I were a pigeon."
You leave
our bloody flies alone, Jardine!
- 'Reported'
comment by Yabba when English captain Douglas Jardine swatted away flies during
the infamous Bodyline tour (1932-33). Yabba died in 1942, aged 64.
There are
two teams out there on the oval. One is playing cricket, the other is not. This
game is too good to be spoilt. It's time some people got out of it.
- Australian
cricket captain Bill Woodfull to the English manager Pelham ‘Plum' Warner during
the bodyline series of 1932-33. Woodfull refused to make an official complaint.
The English tactic, devised by captain Douglas Jardine, of having fast bowlers
bowl short-pitched, fast rising deliveries with a close-in and packed leg-side
field. The results almost severed Australian cricket relations with England.
I'm very
sorry I made a duck. I'd have been glad if I'd made those four extra runs to
have an average of 100. I didn't know it at the time and I don't think the Englishmen
knew it either ... I was very sad walking out. I felt I'd let people down.
- Don Bradman
recalling his final Test innings at The Oval when he was bowled by English leg-spinner
Eric Hollies for a ‘duck.' His Test average is 99.94 runs. Of the game he loved
and played so well Bradman was to say, "May cricket continue to flourish
and spread its wings. The world can only be richer for it."
It was
not the most valuable or most important, but technically it was the best innings
I ever played. In the whole of that match there was not one ball bowled to me
that I didn't hit exactly where I wanted it to go, until the ball I got out
...
- Don Bradman
believed that the 254 he scored in the second Test of Lords in the 1930 series
was his finest innings ever.
I've watched
that one one thousand times.
- The ‘ball
of the century.' Shane Warne in the first ball he bowled in the 1993 Ashes tour
to England screwed like a top to clean-bowl a bewildered Mike Gatting.
Shit Richie!
- Billy Birmingham,
The Twelfth Man , with a comment which lampoons cricket commentators
Richie Benaud, Tony Greig and Bill Lawry. It highlights the ‘tensions' that
exist between their egos and their duties.
We don't
really see ourselves as twins or brothers. We see each other as separate people
in the team but when we look back we will say it was pretty special that we
played together.
- Steve Waugh
speaking about he and twin brother Mark playing in the Australian Cricket team
(2000).
Oy! Which
of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?
- A question
apparently asked of the Australian cricket team by Vic Richardson in responding
to a complaint from English captain Douglas Jardine that an Australian cricketer
had called him a ‘bastard' (1932-33).
Underneath
the Southern Cross I stand, a sprig of wattle in my hand, a native of my native
land, Australia you [expletive deleted] beauty.
- The rowdy
victory ballad of the Australian Cricket team. It is led by a player standing
on the dressing-room table.
A batsmen
‘safely tug four bits off the deck at the WACA without fear of getting rissoled
for a gozzer by a guzunder.'
- Ian Turner
in an article of the same name. Rough translation: A batsmen hooks four runs
off the WACA pitch without being bowled for no score by a shooter [a ball that
goes through very low and often under the bat].
Unquestionably
the greatest bowler I faced.
- England
19th century cricket legend Dr W.G. Grace in reference to Australian bowler
Fred ‘The Demon' Spofforth.
We are
struggling to hold the tears back. It is the great moment in our lives ... It
is for everybody out there. We are number one and it is about time.
- Queensland
Cricket captain Stuart Law ( 28 March 1995 ) after Queensland won the Sheffield
Shield for the first time since it joined the competition in 1926-27 season.
It looks
like they're going to bowl an underarm off the last ball ... this is possibly
a little disappointing.
- Part of
comments by television commentator Bill Lawry about Australian cricket captain
Greg Chappell. On February 1 1981 Chappell had instructed his brother Trevor
to bowl the last ball of the one day match against New Zealand underarm. Richie
Benaud added, “I think it was a gutless performance from the Australian captain.”
C'mon,
Aussie, C'mon!
- A line from
an advertising jingle for World Series Cricket in the late 1970s. It was to
become a call chanted in unison by a massed crowd, urging an Australian competitor
or team to perform well.
Queensland
won't win the Sheffield Shield until the day they raffle it and Queensland buys
all the tickets.
- Bill Tallon,
Queensland cricketer during the long period of time that Queensland had attempted
to win the inter-state Sheffield Shield competition.
In the
local Sydney season of that summer he played one remarkable innings of 335 in
165 minutes for his club, Paddington, at Redfern Oval. One huge lofted drive
broke a second floor window in Hunter's shoe factory 140 metres from the batting
crease. The firm enshrined the memory of that mighty whack by leaving the window
unmended for years.
- Victor Thomas
Trumper described in ‘200 Years of Australian Sport.' The most famous cricket
photograph ever taken is titled ‘Jumping out to Drive' is of Trumper.
Club
cricket is a reflection of life. Just because you're the Australian captain
you can't sit on your arse in the dressing room and do nothing. On a Saturday
afternoon, if it starts to rain, he helps the rest of the mob put on the canvas.
Your team mates won't let you get away with it anyway.
- Rod Marsh,
former Australian cricketer (2000).
Even when
sections of the Australian and British press spoke out against me I never for
one minute though I would be branded a chucker in such humiliating circumstances.
- Bowler Ian
Meckiff after being ‘no-balled' four times by umpire Col Egar in a test match
against South Africa in December 1963. Meckiff showed great charity to the umpire
who ended his cricket career by saying, “I am satisfied umpire Egar is a fair
and just man, who acted according to his convictions.”
We've spoken
about it over the last few years and we want to be remembered as good people
as well as good cricketers.
- Australian
cricketer Ricky Ponting in response to allegations that the team ‘becomes ugly
under pressure' by resorting to unsavoury behaviour. Australia 's on-field behaviour
on a tour of the West Indies had been criticised (2003).
They were
relentless as bowlers, savage as batsmen, yet, always respectful of their opponents.
- Former Australian
cricketer Bill Brown in recalling why the 1948 Invincibles team-mates were so
special (2003).
No, the
mystery of cricket is not that Australians play it well, but that they play
it at all. It has always seemed to me a game much too restrained for the rough-and-tumble
Australian temperament. Australians much prefer games in which brawny men in
scanty clothing bloody each other's noses. I am quite certain that if the rest
of the world vanished overnight and the development of cricket was left in Australian
hands, within a generation the players would be wearing shorts and using bats
to hit each other.
And the
thing is, it would be a much better game for it.
- American
Bill Bryson in Down Under (2000).
Cricket,
the only truly national sport in Australia and a national obsession, is a third-world
type of sport for it involves enormous expenditures of time and spectators who
are comfortable doing nothing for long periods of time. Australia, therefore,
is a recreational society with some atavistic pre-industrial patterns and values
toward time but masquerading as a modernized one.
- Ex-patriot
United States of America academic David Mosler in Australia , the Recreational
Society (2002). In a comment elsewhere in the book Mosle suggests that,
“One sits for five days at a test match doing absolutely nothing and at the
end there is frequently no result.”
Ron,
people came to see me bat today, not you wicket-keep.
- Reportedly
a comment by Don Bradman to wicketkeeper Ron Park after he had stumped Bradman
during a grade cricket match in the early 1930s. Despite his comment Bradman
always saw the need to support the 'grass-roots' cricketers: "I have
always gone out of my way to emphasise that the health, welfare and future
of cricket lies in the hands of the thousands of club and social cricketers
who gave birth to the game and nourish its existence."
I know
you can grunt and stare. Can you speak as well?
-
Queensland cricket captain, Alan Border, in response to the actions of
New South Wales fast bowler, Glenn McGrath (1990s).
The Great Wars of History
Waughs
World War I
1914-1919
World War II
1939-1945
Steve Waugh
1985-2004
-
Spectator T-shirt tribute to Australian cricket captain Steve Waugh
during his last game at Sydney, January 2003. Waugh was Australia's
most successful captain and one of the great players of the game.
Throughout
my career people used to say I was overweight. The barbs about me being
too fat were always sharper when I failed. But I was always told I had
lost weight when I scored runs. The fact is my weight never varied.
-
Burly Australian cricketer of the 1960s, Peter Burge.
Over
a few red wines we had debated the end of the rugby league season and decided
that we could not physically and mentally bear another long summer of cricket.
We agreed that there were probably many thousands of football fans in a
similar predicament, faced with endless hours of ball rubbing and willow
wielding. We agreed that paint dried quicker than a Test match. We agreed
that the odd cricket ball striking a groin guard was not enough physical
contact for any self-respecting spectator sport.
We
agreed that any sport that broke for “tea” did not deserve to be classified
as a sport.
- Matt Condon
in a newspaper article, 'Blame it all on Greensleves' (2003).
It
was phenomenal performance concentration-wise, combined with technical brilliance.
It was the cleanest ball-striking I've ever seen. Thoroughly deserved.
- Australian
cricket captain Steve Waugh in describing the world record test innings of
380 runs by Matthew Hayden against Zimbabwe in October 2003. Hayden hit 11
'sixers' during an innings that lasted ten and a half hours. Of his achievement
Hayden said, "I'm just thrilled that I was wearing the baggy green cap
[rather that a helmet] when the record was broken."
As
cricketers who represent Australia we acknowledge and embrace “The Spirit
of Cricket” and the laws of our game. … We play our cricket hard but fair
and accept all umpiring decisions as a mark of respect for our opponents,
the umpires, ourselves and the game. … We do not condone or engage in sledging
or any other conduct that constitutes personal abuse. … We consider off-field
conduct that may be likely to warrant legitimate public criticism to be unacceptable
conduct.
- Extracts
from a Code of Cricket Behaviour outlined by Australian cricketers
in 2003. Although a very successful team the players had been criticised for
their behaviour both on and off the field. English journalist in an article
in The Independent (London) on his wishes for cricket in 2003 was,
"That the Aussies give up sledging. They've proved they can play thrilling
cricket; wouldn't it be cool if they could do it without resorting to bullying.
The
'rivalry' between the codes is often at the fan level but not as 'strong'
as it was in the past. Many people now follow various sports. Even so to
some rugby union players and supporters, rugby league supporters are 'bevans'
and its players are ‘mungos' - this term seems to date from about the time
of the 1970s film ‘Blazing Saddles' which features a large ‘dumb ox' athlete
type character called Mungo. To league players union players are 'soft cocks'
- and not tough enough to play league - and are called ‘rah-rahs' (after
the polite private school code of amateur sporting behaviour and the 'rah-rah'
cheers) or more impolitely ‘shirt-lifters' or ‘pillow-biters' (an obvious
reference to male to male sexual activity). Australian Football (or ‘Aerial
Ping Pong') is a game for ‘posing fairies', or ‘ballet dancers' who wear
tight shorts and their little sister's singlet as a jersey. Soccer is not
real man's football and is a 'foreigner's' game played by ‘poofs,' ‘sheilas,'
(because of the 'wimpish' and 'theatrical'
injury behaviour of some players when there is some physical contact involved)
or ‘wogs' (an ethnic biased reference).
- Anonymous.
I
don't believe in footy as a complete metaphor for life, or as any great learning
experience, but I believe in it as an outlet. I've had political people say
to me that it's a great outlet for a really repressed society, if people were
happier in their work and more fulfilled they wouldn't need footy. I say,
‘Great, fantastic, are you going to that or will I?” How do we make everyone
out there fulfilled? They say it's a safety valve that maintains society,
maintains the equality of society. I don't know.
- Singer Michael
Thomas quoted in Boys and Balls (1994).
We
know that Australians love winners. At least that is what we are told. We
love a world champion. I mean no disrespect to other athletes or sports
but to be the best cricket nation there are perhaps four or five contenders.
It is the same for rugby union and rugby league, while Aussie Rules is completely
parochial. It is easy to love the teams form these sports as winners because,
quite simply, the competition is not as fierce as in football. To win the
World Cup of Football we have to beat two hundred and three countries and
in most of those countries football is the national sport, the religion
of the people, the passion of the masses. This is not the case for any other
sport that I can think of; athletics, swimming, tennis … whatever. So why,
in Australia , don't we acknowledge the sport for what it is? Why don't
institutions embrace the sport and undertake a concerted effort to push
and promote football to take us unto that world stage? Why the resistance?
Why this folly that ‘soccer is a good game, it's really skilful, but Australians
just don't play it'?
Statistics
show that it is not the case that Australians don't play soccer. Soccer
boasts huge participation rates in this country. That, in itself, has not
been enough for power brokers to give the sport a more elevated place and
profile. People will trot out the line that kids play soccer because mums
and dads don't want their kids to get hurt and soccer is a soft sporting
option. … Soccer gives kids a good grounding for other sports, proper sports,
manly sports. That's about all the credit some will give soccer.
- Former
Australian Soccer player and commentator Johnny Warren in Sheilas, wogs &
poofters (2002).
The
role of footballers' wives is on the sidelines, cheering, probably with some
bitterness since they cannot but realize that every success for the team is
a set-back to their hopes for conjugal enjoyment. They must acquiesce in having
a conglomerate husband, a man who lives and breathes in an induced environment
of competitive unity, who brings the rest of the team home, even to bed, with
him, and whose inadequacies socially and sexually are to be endured as a necessary
sacrifice to sportsmanship. One could conclude that it is the wives who have
to be the good sports.
- Anne Summers,
Dammed Whores and God's Police (1975).
Adolescents
are taken fresh from high school, lionized, feted, overpaid and driven to the
point of neurotic obsession by pugnacious coaches for several years. Towards
their middle or late twenties, they are expected to drop out of sight, of big
money and public adulation and pick up the pieces of their lives.
- Ronald Conway
in Land of the Long Weekend (1978). He was discussing Australian Football
and Rugby League in Australia.
-
Australian Football
Now
that cricket has been put aside for a few months to come, and cricketers have
assumed somewhat of a chrysalis nature … rather than allow this state of torpor
to creep over them, and stifle supple limbs, why can they not … forma a football
club … A club of this sort … would be of vast benefit to any cricket ground
to be trampled upon, and would make the turf quite firm … besides it would
keep those who are inclined to become stout from having their joints encased
in superabundant flesh …
Yours,
etc.
T.W.
Wills.
- Bell's
Life (Victoria), 7 July 1858. This letter led to the beginning of the
game of Australian Rules Football (originally Victorian Rules).
Australian
Rules football might best be described as a game devised for padded cells, played
in the open air.
- James Murray,
quoted in Australian Walkabout (1968).
It
was overcast, wet, real grassroots stuff, with people parked around the
boundary line beeping their horns. Terrific.
- Collingwood
AFL coach Mick Malthouse describing his attendance at a country match in Tasmania
(2002).
I
was born into a Magpie family and reared in the Magpie nest, kicking tin cans
and paper footballs around the streets of Collingwood and Abbotsford … We
used to play in the street every night after school, using whatever we could
scrounge for a football – usually we would stuff some papers into discarded
cigarette packets. To get a kick was an art in itself because no holds were
barred.
- Former AFL
player and commentator Lou Richards.
I'd say
in moderation. I wouldn't be rapt in a single player having a new sexual adventure
on a Friday night but a married man wouldn't lose any energy by it. With him
it could be a regular thing and I don't think it could do him too much harm.
- Ron Barassi,
Australian Football player and coach (1973).
Up there
Cazaly,
In there
and fight,
Out there
and at ‘em,
Show ‘em
you're right,
Up there
Cazaly,
Don't let
‘em in,
fly like
an angel,
You're
out there to win.
- The great
player of the 1920s Roy Cazaly became legendary in the game of Australian Football
for his ability to take high marks. Mike Brady wrote a song in 1979 which used
the expression ‘Up there Cazaly' and became an anthem for the sport.
Itinerant
vendors off sweets, soft drinks, ice-creams, the ubiquitous ‘Four and Twenty'
meat-pie, and that unique Chinese-Australian delicacy, the ‘Chiko Roll”. Stands
unfold to display badges, ribbons, flags, decorated kewpie-dolls and other symbols
of partisan support. Above the shuffle of feet and the buzz of talk sounds the
nasal singsong of the programme sellers, ‘Foo-tee Reck-or' … ‘Getcha Foo-Tee
Reck-or'[ Football Record ] …'
- Leonie Sandercock
and Ian Turner, Up Where, Cazally? (1981). Grand Final day and when,
“The umpire blows his whistle, bounces the ball, and the game is on. At this
moment, Melbourne comes to life.”
The colony
of Victoria has a game of its own. It is supposed to be an improvement on all
other species in the matter of eradicating brutality. Whether it is so is a
very open question. There have been more brutal fights in Melbourne over football
matches than in any other colony. It is said that the game is not to blame for
this so much as the rivalry between the clubs—the determination of Collingwood
not to be beaten by Fitzroy, for instance—it is even contended, that the fact
that it raises such enthusiasm, even to the point of broken heads and bloody
noses, is a conclusive argument that it is the best of all games.
- Edward Kinglake
in The Australians at Home (1891).
What's
big and green and eats Magpies in September?
Answer:
The MCG ( Melbourne Cricket Ground).
- Joke about
the finals fortunes of the Collingwood Football Club and their reputation for
the ‘Colliwobbles' – an apparent inability to progress through and win the Grand
Final.
A splendid
picture do they make,
These heroes
of the red and blue
As ranged
in order now they stand
And twice
ten thousand eyes upon them fixed
With full
ten thousand forms around them
A glorious
setting for a noble theme.
- An anonymous
poet in 1876 highlighted the way that Australian Football (then Victorian Rules)
had become part of the cultural consciousness of the people.
Melbourne
has no summer, only a hibernation between football seasons.
- G. Johnston
in The Australians (1988) quoting a unnamed Sydney resident. Of Australian
Football Johnston says, “No other sporting event in Australia draws a crowd
as big or committed as this. For a time men become gods and heroes.”
The disdain
many intellectuals feel for the activities of the masses does not so often extend
to football [Australian Football], which secures often fanatical support.
- A. Summers
in her book, Damned Whores and God's Police (1975).
When Children
are born in Victoria
they are
wrapped in the club-colours,
laid in
beribboned cots.
- B. Dawe
in his poem, Life Cycle.
There
were three religions in our family, Catholicism, the Labor Party and the Collingwood
Football Club. Well, Catholicism went by the wayside and the Labor Party is
pretty hard to distinguish from the Liberal Party at times but Collingwood.
My dad was a supporter and my grandad used to take me to the home games at
‘Viccy' Park. Well one day after we'd beaten Carlton he took me down into
the rooms and walk'in through those doors was like going through the Pearly
Gates into Heaven. Here I was in the inner sanctum with its honour boards
and the photos going back to the turn of the century, the smell of linament,
pipe tobacco everywhere, my heroes walking all around me delirious that they'd
just beaten Carlton and singing, ‘Good Old Collingwood, Forever,' and it was
a totally overwhelming experience for me and I'm forever Collingwood, now
and always will be.
- ‘Charlie'
from the ABC True Stories, Boys and Balls (1994).
When
you were at school, if no one had a football they'd just wrap up an old
newspaper, tape it together with sticky tape and just use that, or grab
an empty Coke bottle, pick out two forks in a tree and use them as goals
for kicking competitions. Anything they could get their hands on they'd
use as a football – if it was oval shaped and it wouldn't hurt your foot,
that's what they'd kick around.
- Indigenous
Essendon AFL player, Dean Rioli, reminiscing about the 'footy mad' community
he grew up in on Melville Island, just north of Darwin (2003).
If you
really want to know, what's going on is that I'm sick to death of football ...
It's all a lot of macho-competitive bullshit.
- Geoff Hayward,
a character in David Williamson's play, The Club.
I
was never a great one for speeches. I'm not sure they have a huge effect
on the outcome of matches. I think that's one of the myths of footy.
-
Four time AFL Premiership coach Leigh Matthews (2003).
It's
the best game. It's the most visually appealing. It's action-packed. There's
a mix of skill, physicality, aggression and artistry for the punter in
the crowd and for the TV viewer. … To continue to make footy a great game,
we have to continue to get the best athletes.
- Brendon
Gale, AFL Players Association president (2003). He outlined his opinion
further by saying, "It puts meaning into people's lives. It's just
a great game. It's cathartic for people. It's their team and their players.
It is the people who hold the culture close to them and add to it, and develop
it. They seed it and cultivate it. The culture is in them. They're the ones
who pass it on. They tell the stories. If the game is made accessible to
the people, the culture will take care of itself."
If
we could resurrect a devoted Australian Rules follower who died 25 years ago
and show him a present-day game we might have trouble persuading him it is
the same game ... It is not the same ... most of the change follows a time
of loophole searching of the rules by coaches to see how far the play could
be bent to suit their purposes ... Along the way policy and tactical pressures
have produced drastic and near permanent changes...We have seen the introduction
and tolerance of the rugby tackle ... Kicking, through all its history one
of the two great joys of Australian Rules, has taken a beating and may never
be the same again.
- B.M. Wicks,
Whatever happened to Australian Rules? (1980).
The
community spirit is fantastic but it's got to be – if we don't put in there
won't be a community.
- John Dunne
from the Beacon Bombers in Western Australia before a grand final (quoted
in Beyond the Big Sticks by Ian Kennis and Paul Daffey, 2003). Football
means a great deal to a great many people in the country and provides a sense
of identity and feeling of community in an otherwise widespread area.
There is
something very special, for us true believers, about football. It expresses
what seems otherwise impossible to express. It is a consuming passion, of hope
and despair, of escape and reality, of religious commitment and frustration.
It is an expression of the grand qualities of human endeavour. To some of us
football is the knowing. When Gary Ablett ran around his left foot and goaled
from fifty-five metres against Footscray in a 1992 semi-final, word fell short.
The goal was the medium. It offered the insight, but how is the moment conveyed?
Poets have attempted to put into clever words those esoteric concepts which
defy explanation. It seems appropriate then that some poets have tried to capture
the qualities of Australian football in their work so that, in combination (the
football and the poetry), they might offer some comment on the human condition.
- John Harms
and Ian Jobling in ‘Australian Rules Football. Saturday Afternoon Poetry,' Journal
of Australian Studies (Sept. 1995). The authors provided this explanation concerning
the search of the meaning hidden under the football metaphors.
-
Rugby Union
Beating
NSW is like sex. When it's good it's great, and when it's not, who cares,
you can get on the piss.
- Former Queensland
rugby union prop Chris Handy ‘revving' up the NSW supporters before an interstate
clash (2002). Queensland won.
Kick the
ball to the shithouse!
- Wallaby
coach, Bob Dwyer, calling out to Michael Lynagh during the tense final minutes
of the 1991 World Cup against England. He was seated just in front of Queen
Elizabeth.
Too easy,
Campese!
- Expression
used to indicate the attacking ability of Rugby Union winger David Campese and
his ability to make the scoring of spectacular tries look easy (1980s-90s).
Off the field and after the end of his career Campese had a propensity to make
comments without much consideration of the issues and it was often said of him,
“There is a loose wire between his brain and his mouth.”
Australian
rugby is basically playing rugby league. We are playing set pattern after set
pattern and it's become predictable. We have to change our style a bit. There
needs to be more thought about how to play it.
- Mark Ella
(2000).
As I told
the blokes playing for your country is like warfare and how can you do anything
but hate the enemy? That's the way I approached the All Blacks and their arrogance.
-
Former international Rugby Union player Sam Scott-Young on playing against
New Zealand (2002).
Will
we ever be able to put a genuine Australian team in the field, whether Rugby,
Australian or soccer? I am sure never in Rugby
…
- The Sydney
Mail in 1903 following a defeat by New Zealand.
I can't
even understand why people come and pay to watch this crap.
-
David Campese in 1995 warning that the emphasis on kicking was making rugby
union boring. At another time a couple of years later 'Campo' was to suggest,
"Even if I was at my peak, I wouldn't be picked in a Wallaby side today.
There's no flair - they've got this highly structured game and winning is
all important."
There's
a spirit in the Wallabies mere words cannot describe.
It's
as if they have descended from some legendary tribe.
- Rugby
union devotee, writer and poet Peter Fenton (1990s).
I never—I
never signed.
- Rugby union
international Mark Ella in explaining to his father Gordon that he had refused
a huge offer to play rugby league with St George (1980s).
[
Rugby ] … can now become more a part of the national psyche and not viewed
as a game for east coast private schools.
- Editiorial
in The Canberra Times suggesting a spread of rugby union following
the successfully conducted World Cup of Rugby in Australian in 2003. As World
Cup Rugby fever swept Australia , Sydney fans and tourist alike became part
of a fantastic spirit, reminiscent of the 2000 Sydney Olympics. England won
the final against Australian 20-17 in the last minute of extra time.
My father,
who was never given to uttering any fulsome praise, remarked pointedly, later
on, that the others must have been a ‘damn poor lot'. At the time I thought
his words a little hard, but looking back with a truer perspective after many
years, I fear his judgement was correct.
- Herbert
Moran, Viewless Winds (1939), referring to an honour cap he received
for forward play. He went on to represent Australia in the early 1900s.
-
Rugby League
Yes,
you have to have a bit of courage to dive on a loose ball when there are boots
flying around. It's a physical sport and you just can't survive if you aren't
courageous to a fair degree.
- Peter Sterling
on playing rugby league (1990s).
THE
NIGHT WE BEAT THE BLUES.
- Headline
of The Telegraph (Brisbane), the day after Queensland won the first
ever State of Origin rugby league match in July, 1980.
Southerners
are all alike. They're always whingeing.
- In the second
match of the 1988 series. Wally Lewis after being accused of inciting the crowd
to riot (throw cans) by arguing with the Sydney referee over many penalty decisions
and running 20 metres to join in a one-on-one scrap which became a larger melee.
The two arm over head bow to ‘King' Wally Lewis (the Emperor of Lang Park) was
a feature of his ‘reign.'
We've had
professionalism in Sydney football for years. All the club officials know it.
The Union knows it, but they can't prove it, and to save trouble they don't
try much. Why, nearly every club pays directly or indirectly for the service
of one or two men each Saturday.
- The
Sydney Morning Herald (1908), in quoting a secretary of one of the leading
metropolitan rugby clubs at the time when the ‘professional' form of rugby (league)
was emerging.
Rivalry,
which many players admitted became a deep-seated hatred once they were on the
field, has been incredible. New South Wales are uncomplimentarily tagged ‘Cockroaches'
by Queenslanders (a play on a slur used by flamboyant Queensland coach Barry
Muir in the 1970s). Queenslanders are referred to as the ‘Cane toads'. ‘Kill
a cockroach' or ‘Squash a cane toad' T-shirts have been marketed.
- Neil Cadigan
(et al.) in Blood, Sweat and Tears: Australians and Sport (1989).
Let's face
it, the only good that football does is to channel society's need to drink warm
beer, have nowhere to park and have kids fight in the back seat of the car on
the way home.
- A light-hearted
look at rugby league in ‘Four Synapses,' by Wendy Harmer, League of a Nation
(1996).
[Rugby]
league also gave workers the chance to participate actively or collectively
in building teams of local players to act as representatives of the locality
in the district competition. In Glebe it seems league helped further a kind
of local consciousness; it make working men feel they belonged to a community
… It was relatively inexpensive to play with the club supplying Guernseys and
socks; players had to but their own boots.
- Max Solling
on the first Sydney rugby league club in 1908.
Let me
tell you what a mother's worst nightmare really is. It's not having a son who
grows up to be a prop forward, it's having a daughter who grows up and marries
one.
-
Rugby league prop forward, Martin Bella (1990s).
Wherever
you may be
The
red and white you'll see
Oh,
aren't we a wonderful credit
To
our locality.
- Part of
the Saint George rugby league club song. The club has strong connections to
an area of Sydney and is very proud of this.
They
just give it to the biggest bloke and he charges at the other big bloke
and they hammer you. The whole game revolves around brutality and intimidation.
It's as close to war a I'll every get.
- Rugby
league 'hopeful' and former AFL player Adrian Barich (1997).
I know
I am not guilty of the dastardly thing they charged me with.
- In a match
at the Sydney Cricket Ground against Glebe, Duncan Thompson was sent from the
field and charged with kicking an opponent. Thompson never again played club
football in Sydney. He moved to Toowoomba, and there became a legendary figure,
bearing the evocative nickname of ‘The Downs Fox' and developing a very successful
style of play called ‘Contract Football.'
Many of
you are in a state of perfervid anticipation of the ritual bellicose delights
which characterise this Origin conflict.
- An ‘over
the top' article talking about the excitement and arguments caused by the State
of Origin rugby league clashes (2002).
One man
trying to push two men up three men's arses.
- Roy Masters,
rugby league coach, and his definition of a rugby league scrum (1994).
It seemed
we weren't allowed to win.
- Outsiders
Western Suburbs won the 1952 Sydney rugby league grand final against South Sydney.
Souths captain Jack Rayner never spoke again to the referee George Bishop.
As
a rugby league frontrower, he was expected to be one of the most aggressive
players on his day. But once he left the field, the players opposite him
wanted to shake hands with him and have a beer. I don't think he had an
enemy.
- Wally
Lewis speaking after the funeral of popular 1960s Australian rugby league
player Peter ‘Pedro' Gallagher. Gallagher displayed the true spirit of playing.
If the
girls are happy, the boys are happy.
- Peter ‘Bullfrog'
Moore on the family culture engendered at Canterbury Rugby League Club.
Did you
ever stand in a room in the “dim, religious light” of a fading winter afternoon,
surrounded by photographs of men whom you had known in the full bloom of their
athletic manhood, and thought of them as they were - studied those pictures
on the wall!
- Claude Corbett
sports journalist for The Referee referring to the early players of
rugby league in Australia (1920s).
I turn
off completely when I see a Super League story in the papers or on television.
No matter who wins in the end, they're going to have a tarnished product on
their hands.
- A comment
recorded by an unknown ‘fan' (1995) on a split in Rugby League which resulted
in two competitions for a time. Australian rugby league coach Bob Fulton after
Australia defeated England 16-8 in the World Cup (1996) said, “This game won't
be the end of an era because the ARL won't lose the Federal Court case and Super
League won't start next year.” A compromise was later reached between Super
League and the ARL.
I'd like
to keep it private but there's nothing we can do about it. We've got to live
with it.
- Rugby League
player Ricky Stuart when publication of the amounts to be paid to Super League
Players was announced. Stuart was given a sign-on fee of $100,000 and an annual
salary of $600,000 (1995).
So it's
up the old red rooster and drink more piss.
- The end
of a football team's winning song. It highlights the close connection between
football and after-match (binge) drinking.
They're
mad up there. You know when you go up there, all you want to do is get the game
over and done with and go home.
- NSW rugby
league ‘hard-man' Les Boyd in commenting on playing State of Origin at Lang
Park in Brisbane.
It was
nearly the greatest day of my life. The whole week was something I had never
experienced before. You don't often get two bites of the cherry. It was like
a fairy-tale.
- ‘Retired'
Alan Alfie' Langer in a cliche-ridden comment after his recall from ‘England
to play a key role for Queensland in the third and decisive State of Origin
rugby league match in 2001.
The tougher
it is the more I like it. I don't want anybody setting out to prove how tough
he is, but if he ends up proving he's tougher than his opposite, it makes me
a better coach.
- New South
Wales State of Origin coach, Jack Gibson, in 1988 in a message to his team.
He slices
through the backline like a Stradbroke Island shark.
There's
glue on all of his fingers.
He's the
Emperor of Lang Park.
- Part of
television jingle from the 1980s for Fourex beer which refers to Queensland
Rugby League legend Wally Lewis.
My views
were diluted, distorted, trivialised, overlooked and satirised. According to
the media, I represented a threat to Australian manhood. I dealt with a volatile
subject, the sacred cow of Rugby League, not fully understanding the passion
and interest within certain sections of the community.
- Writer Helen
Yeates.
I haven't
kissed anybody so far and nobody better try to kiss me, either.
- Rugby league
forward Artie Beetson 1970s commenting on English Soccer players kissing each
other.
We are
on the crest of a slump [in form].
-
Phil Economidis when his Gold Coast team had lost a few games in a row in
the NRL competition (1990s).
Bucking
the odds, overcoming adversity and refusing to wilt in the face of danger.
They won with rejects, refugees, retreads and reprobates – a victory for
rugged home-grown men, players in the tradition of outlaws and strivers
who grew the sport from the root.
- Journalist
Roy Masters in the Herald (Sydney) newspaper when describing the
victory of the Penrith Panthers in the 2003 Rugby League Grand Final.
-
Soccer
I
didn't realise until some time after the match what had happened. (Team-mate)
Jim (Rooney) and I were sharing a (hotel) room and we had a can of Carlton
Draught each, sat on our beds, looked up at the ceiling and just thought about
it ...
- Jimmy McKay
remembered the defining moment if Australian soccer history - the goal he scored
against South Korea in Hong Kong in 1973 to take the Socceroos to their only
appearance in the World Cup finals in West Germany in 1974. In more recent campaigns
the Socceroos earned the 'chokers' tag for not capitalising on some wonderful
opportunities to advance to the World Cup.
I
am fascinated by soccer's story in Australia. It has been one of struggle;
and incredible, relentless, frustrating and frequently unjust struggle.
Soccer is a sport with a long history in this country, a sport which provided
a vehicle for assimilation for new Australians, the sport of the people
of the world and the national sport of the country which, historically,
was so connected with Australia's national psyche—England. Yet, soccer in
Australia still faces entrenched cultural and institutional resistance.
One only has to scan the national newspapers to get the feeling that the
editors consider the sport a minor one and not worthy of much coverage except,
of course, for the occasional incident of crowd trouble when there is always
a camera available and a reporter ready with pen poised. For the most part,
Australians are fixated on what are relatively minor sports. The big news
is rugby league or Aussie Rules. In world terms, who plays these sports?
...
Understanding
the social environment of Australian fifty-odd years ago offers some insight
into the discrimination that, unfortunately in large part, has plagued Australian
soccer and its players.
-
Johnny Warren, in Sheilas, wogs & poofters (2002).
To
beat England in
England – not many
teams come here and do that. To do that so convincingly gives us a lot more
credibility.
-
Socceroos coach Frank Farina after Australia's 3-1 win over England at
Upton Park, London (2003).
You
don't need to be a rocket scientist, you need 10 good teams, or maybe 12
or maybe eight. You need to locate them in the right places, play attractive
football, and people will come and see you, and commercial interest will
come and see you.
-
Frank Lowry with his vision to develop soccer in Australia in the aftermath
of a report from the Australian Sports Commission into the governance
of soccer in Australia. Journalist Michael McGuire was to suggest that
soccer was "a sport that has long been a byword in Australia for
incompetence, farce and the kind of ugly politics that would make even
hardened Canberra [political) veterans blush" (2003).
Despite
the fact that I played a complete range of sports like most Aussie kids,
my nickname at school was ‘Wog Warren' because I also played soccer. Only
sheilas, wogs and poofters played soccer, was the prevailing narrow-minded
attitude. It was all a product of the area's working-class allegiances and
roots—of being suspicious of anything new or difficult to understand and
instead exalting the image of bronzed Aussie machismo and the physical demands
of work and struggle, best epitomised by the brutality of rugby league.
Sport was a natural extension of the working week. The league players were
society's heroes. Rugby league neatly defined the way things were. It was
an unsubtle game played at the end of a week of unsubtle work. Society and
its sport, sharing and reinforcing each other's values. A man was defined
by his work and his play, so of soccer players it would be asked, ‘Why don't
you play a man's game?'
- Johnny
Warren, in Sheilas, wogs & poofters (2002).